a day of (mis)adventures, sprinkled with a generous helping of grace

Last night my flight was delayed leaving Ketchikan, so I didn't get in to Seattle until 11:45pm. Baggage seemed piled up elsewhere and didn't come to my eager little hands until 12:30am. By the time Tia and I got back to Kirkland, it was about 1:30am. (Oh, and we also made an extra, random loop back through the airport because poor T was exhausted by the time I got in. Don't worry, folks, she was indeed compensated for her valiant efforts.)

Anyhow, I made myself get up at 9:30 so I would have time to get everything figured out before we needed to be at NU around noon. I had to call my brother floor RA and figure out our plans for the day, since there was no way that I was going to call him when I got in to Seattle last night, which was the original plan.

Well, Tia and I didn't get to NU until about 12:30pm, which wasn't a problem because David hadn't showed up yet either. He was running late because of traffic through Tacoma--he hails from Olympia-ish. Through a random turn of events--or mayhaps God watching out for me :) --I ran into another future RA on campus and got David's cell from a friend she called for me.

Eventually, David and I met up in the library, where we printed up different directions to various locales, potential places for our floor retreat. Our first destination was about an hour north, at a state park. We both thought it was just about ideal as to what we were looking for in regards to activities and such, but we wanted to check the other state parks on our list as well--there were three total. Also, at the first park, we figured the deciding factor would be if the next place had a playground or not. (Yes, we are in college. No, we are not mature yet. :D )

Our next stop was a state park at an undisclosed location--I don't want to let it slip before we go!--even farther north, and somewhat west. This took about another hour or so driving. We scouted the place out--much larger than the first park--and I'm positive God brought us to the right place. I asked Him to help us find the perfect spot for our floor retreat, and I think this is it. David and I see eye to eye on it, we both have good ideas about it, and it looks like we can reserve a group camp site so we won't have residents scattered over a broad area.

While we scouted out the area, we walked along the beaches and through some of the trails. It was a great day for this because it was warm out, but not overly hot. We encountered a wedding party on one of the beaches and David kept joking that we should try to get a picture with the bride and groom. Funny idea, but we'd already trespassed on the group camp sites to scout them out, so I wasn't too keen on the idea. It's too bad, because the cake looked good.

Walking the trails parallel to the beach was a decent hike, but it got better on the way back when we chose to ditch the forested trail and walk along the beach. Problem: beach does not stretch the same length. Instead, large rocky outcroppings break up the beach, which would have forced us to return to the trail, swim around them, or climb over them. So we called on our inner mountain goats and clambered over these various craggy rocks so that we could keep to the beach.

By the end of the beach trek, we'd taken off our shoes and socks and were walking through the surf. The cold water was quite refreshing, and it was much easier to walk on the harder, wet sand than over the dry sand. And we passed the wedding party again, but we resisted the urge to grab cake and punch to refresh us.

Once we left [undisclosed location] it was 6:30pm or so, and we were/are both convinced that this was the perfect place for our floor retreat. (Thank you, God!!!) On the drive south, we decided to stop at an Arby's for dinner only to lock the keys in the car as soon as we got there. Well, being the flexible types, we decided to eat dinner first. Fortunately, there was a Lowe's across the street, so we were able to buy all the required utensils to break back into the car and continue our voyage.

Fastforward about an hour or so and we were at Fauntleroy with me trying to juggle TOO MANY THINGS so that I could catch a ferry back to PO. (Bless David for driving me to the ferry so that I wouldn't have to take a bus AND a ferry.) Well, when I bought my ticket, the ticket guy--I don't know what his job title actually is...--radios ahead and asks if there's time for "one more Southworth walk on." They radio back and say yes, "if she hurries."

So, already juggling the aforementioned TOO MANY THINGS, I attempt to book it down the dock to the ferry, which is already behind schedule. One ferry worker met me halfway down and helped me with my things, took my ticket. She passed off what she carried to someone else at the other end of the dock, and then someone else came alongside me as we got to the elevator and took another one of my bags.

Three different workers physically carried my luggage to ensure that I would make that ferry, y'all. I so didn't deserve the extra grace God gave me through people today. (And this weekend.) Once I got on the ferry, I called ahead, hoping to find someone to pick me up on the other side and get me to the Jennings' house where my car is parked. Found someone very easily, and at the end of the ferry ride, one of the ferry workers volunteered to help me with my bags again. (He also used to work in Alaska, so we struck up a conversation over my box of xtra-tufs. :) )

Well, this blog is more than long enough. I need sleep because more campers come on the morrow.

hike: a long walk usually for exercise or pleasure

In this case, it was both. After another slow morning, Kat and I met up with Gaelen for lunch in town--tasty panini!--and then chose to hike in the afternoon out at Settler's Cove. Before we headed out, the Rabbit was out of hibernation long enough to bestow upon us a magical flower that would keep us safe.

It was great hike with warm weather, a few bugs, lots of tree trunks to conquer, and a couple of fun run-ins with water and mud. We also spent some time listening to the trees, eating blueberries, and taking lots of pictures. I was really going to try to capture the day here, and I don't think it's possible for me to do that, so I'm not going to bother.

For dinner, we went for sushi. There's something grand about raw fish and rice and miso soup. And mochi ice cream. Miam! J'en salive... Anywho (ah, the hick in me rises), it's been an awesome day. Kat and I even managed to give BC his meds today--twice!--and we are unmauled in the end. Un/fortunately, BC is starting to feel better, so he's putting up more of a fight than he did earlier.

And now, soon, I shall to bed. Hopefully my cold will be better by tomorrow.

oy vey!

I have sadly neglected my blog for most of the summer, so I figured I should finally transfer my posts over from myspace--that other blog--and fill everyone in who might be curious. I'll do better in the future, I promise. :)

today, the day that the following things happened:

1. Slept in

2. Snuggled with Diedre (sp?)

3. Drank coffee (happiness in a mug!)

4. Took a shower

5. Shaved

6. Got girly (I can't really do that at camp)

7. Went to Wal-Mart (with Kat) and bought: xtra tuffs, hair gel, and cough drops

8. Walked around Ward Lake and took pics with Kat

9. Journeyed to Creek Street and wandered with Kat, then...

10. Met up with Gaelen briefly and

11. Partied with some Alaskan puppets

12. Came back to the house, woke up the Rabbit for dinner, but he refused--even sushi!--and then went to dinner at the Landing with Laura and Kat

13. Currently chillaxing with some awesome chicks and cats in the living room.

This is what I call vacation :)

Cat person: I lead an ignored, fur-filled life

I challenge you to find something more comforting than a warm, furry body snuggled up to yours in those post-sleep moments while you're still in bed and not yet energetic enough to get up. That was my wake up call this morning. Deidre, the grey cat that is currently snoozing on my lap, chose to be my morning buddy and snuggle with me before I managed to fetch coffee.

I am up in Ketchikan, AK, once more, and I am very happy. I realized a few days ago that this is just about a year after my first visit to K-town, and with that realization came the--it is so hard to use a laptop with a cat's head resting in the crook of your left elbow--realization of how much has happened in one year. Praise the Lord that He was with me through all of it!

This summer is infinitely different from last summer. One of the biggest key differences is that for once--in a long time--I'm stable. I'm so used to drama and emotions and insanity that not having it is odd, but wonderful. (Ok, Dede, I'm moving my arm...sorry!) For once, I'm not the one desperately clinging to others to stay buoyed above the turmoil. Instead, I guess God finds me stable enough to be that point of strength for others. And I guess that's why God put me at Miracle Ranch for the summer and as an RA for next year.

This is not to say that I don't need Him daily, because when I get cocky enough to think, "Oh I can take it from here, God," that's usually when it all hits the fan. And once again, I remember my weakness and choose to let God be my strength and my guide. (One more realization that reflects back on a few months past is that God really does know what He's doing. It just takes me longer to realize His plan when He reveals it in time.)



Anyhow, I'm here in Alaska, at the Cronks' house, and I am supremely happy. Looking out on the channel with the low-lying clouds and an occasional sea plane flying by, I feel rested and content. (Eleven hours of sleep didn't hurt either.) I'm so glad I got this week off!

Two more things and I'll go:

1) I'm developing a man-voice with a post-camp stress-induced cold.

2) You need to get on Laura's case about writing her book. (If you're not her friend, message her. :) )



PS. I read The Kite Runner yesterday on the way to the airport, before my plane boarded, all the way up to Ketchikan, and then finished it yesterday afternoon. It was one of the best books I've read in a long time!

one more thing about teen week...

I forgot to add this in, but it's pretty much hilarious as well, so I feel like I need to include it. I guess this adds to the number of unwanted crushes that seem to keep coming from nowhere. Typically, they're not all that funny, but when a thirteen year old camper starts crushing on you--as well as on all the female staff--it's pretty hilarious.

First part of the story: Runway tells me one day that the campers in Silent Thunder's cabin were swapping stories about female counselors they thought were cute. One kid mentions me, then adds, "But she's way too old for me." Runway says, "She's only a few years older than me. How old do you think she is?" Apparently, the camper thought I was in my thirties.

I'll let that sink in for a bit.

Second part of the story: midway through the week, after my shift in the trading post, Geegles walks in and says, "Apparently, you have an admirer." I question him about it, and he adds, "Yeah, he said, 'Hakuna Matata is a hotty with a naughty body.'" I think I shrieked and just about flipped out. That was SO not something I wanted to hear being said about me! Geegles added that he talked to the camper and made it clear not to use that sort of language in reference to anyone, especially female staff.

I would say the camper learned his lesson, except the next day or so, he chose to sit next to me at lunch. *awkward turtle swims away* Anyway, by the end of the week, I found it all amusing and it's definitely something I had to blog about.

"the week of pure angels" (week 3) & "the week where I started dating" (week 4)

Last weekend, I had every intention of blogging about the third week of camp, but I was unable to access the internet--except for email in the Rock (camp office). I stayed at Miracle Ranch last weekend and had tons of fun chilling with the other staff. I did my laundry, cleaned my cabin, shaved my legs AND did my hair, and then chilled on camp for awhile.

Three fun things about last Saturday: 1) canoeing with Aweemaweh across Horseshoe Lake to the waterlily fields, 2) hanging off the dock and trying to catch fish with my bare hands with Trogdor, Klondike, and Geegles, 3) going to Thai food with Velvety, Ogo Pogo (Eli), Marzipan (ReBekha), and Aweemaweh.

After Thai, I crashed in Marzipan's cabin since she wasn't feeling well, and I didn't really want to sleep in my cabin alone. (Both our CITs were gone.) Last week, this nasty flu bug was going around, and basically half the camp got it. Ok, that's something of an exaggeration, but a lot of the staff got sick--especially the high school staff--and had to go home. Several campers went home early, and I think that week was labeled "Pukefest '07." Fortunately, I was the original initiator of the 24 hr flu bug during sprint week, so I was fine. I was a little dizzy all week, but I think that was a result of waterfront duty, or sitting on the dock and rocking on the water. (blurgh)

However, despite everyone else getting sick, my cabin was perfectly fine. In fact, my campers were astounding. My first impression was that this was going to be a good week, but then I'd had that same feeling about Katie P., and well, she ended up chowing down on Banana Boat. But this week, first impressions held and went even beyond.

I don't think I'd ever encountered such curious girls before. Bible studies kept their attention, as did evening devos, and we ended up continuing a Bible study into KBMO one day because there were so many good questions and they just wanted to keep going. I was very, very blessed by these girls. Plus, they never bickered amongst themselves or had any petty drama. They were united from the beginning, and were absolutely incredible.



This last week that just ended this morning--it seems forever ago--was the first teen week of the summer. The first three weeks, I had girls ranging from 8-10 years of age. This week, I had 13-15 yr olds in my cabin, and I had eleven of them. *blink* Junior highers are so insane and fun, I tell ya what!

From the get-go, my girls this week bonded, and the friendships lasted throughout the week. They were exchanging email and home addresses as well as phone numbers last night and this morning. Hugs were exchanged all around, and several were close to tears when they said goodbye to each other. I almost started crying myself, to be honest, which had never happened before now. I wish I had used more of my free time this week to bond with my girls. I really missed out on some good opportunities.

Thinking back over the week, I can't help but laugh at some of their antics. One of my girls answered the cabin door in just her underoos, and henceforward, whenever someone decided to be scandalous, it was referred to as "going Siara." Point: last night when we were walking down from our cabin to the nightswim we'd earned, we were joking around about showing our knees in public, and I decided to pull up my swimsuit coverup higher on my leg. Unfortunately, without thinking, I'd done so in front of the guys' cabins. Fortunately, no one was there. But then, the girls I was with could hardly wait to tell the other girls in our cabin that "Hakuna Matata pulled a Siara in front of Dodge City!" I didn't really live that one down.

Another thing I didn't live down was the supposed romance between myself and another one of the staff members. Poor eHarmony. My girls were absolutely convinced that we were in love and continued to tease us--especially me--about it throughout the week. My LIT didn't really help the matter because she thought it was hilarious and just egged them on, which was fine, because it really was funny, just awkward at the same time.

Last night, after the No Talent night and before fireside, my girls decided to revamp an old favorite by singing, "Hakuna and eHarmony sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes purple, then comes marriage..." You get the picture. I like that they felt it necessary to include "purple" instead of "love." Oi. Well, it didn't stop at that because then they found eHarmony and sang it to him. And THEN, they hunted me down--I had run off a safe distance across the basketball court--dragged me over to his side, and kept pushing us together and trying to get someone to marry us.

I was laughing the entire time through my protests because it really was hilarious, and the girls had no malice about the ordeal, just joking around. However, because I was laughing so much--and trying not to show it--and since I was embarrassed, my face was red and the girls began teasing me about blushing--a sure sign that he and I were "secret lovers." Junior highers make me laugh. :)

Also funny about this situation is that poor ReBekha was in a similar predicament with her girls, who were also convinced that she and eHarmony were dating. In fact, they even went so far as to say that he was cheating on her with me. At least my girls were just joking around about it and weren't by any means serious! I think that's why I didn't mind the teasing so much because I know they were just having fun.

Now on a more serious note, it's ironic that the impact I feel I had this week wasn't on any of my own campers. Monday night, I prayed with two other counselors for one of their campers, and the rest of the week, this girl came up to me and gave me a hug whenever she saw me because our combined prayers had made a difference in her life.

Also, I spoke with another camper--along with her counselor and the women's staff counselor--about cutting. I shared my own experience with it, the reasons why I did cut, and the circumstances surrounding it. I didn't feel like I'd actually made any headway with her, but the other two women who were with me seem convinced that the camper actually listened, which I hope she did. This girl had a lot of identity issues, so if you could pray that a) she finds God and b) realizes her true identity, that would be more than wonderful.

Another prayer request: issues with my CIT. Some of the time, when she engages in what she's supposed to be doing, she rocks at being a CIT. She's got a great heart, but she's easily influenced by the other CITs who aren't exactly at camp for the campers. In some ways, it feels like she's my "big camper," only she has some authority in the cabin and tended to undermine me behind my back this week. I have a distinct feeling that she and I will be sitting down and having a heart to heart come the next week of camp. It's oddly encouraging to know that I'm not the only counselor having CIT issues, but it's frustrating to be fighting someone who's supposed to be there to help. Please pray for wisdom and guidance as these conversations come up.

One more thing: I'll try to post pics in a day or so. It might wait until I'm up in AK.

"the week where one of my campers ate sunscreen," aka week 2 of camp counseling

For some reason, I thought the first week of camp was hard, and it definitely was, but this week seemed to be just as trying as the first, if not more so. For some reason, I feel like I can better deal with kids with issues from the inner city than from, oh, Kirkland, y'know?

Oh gosh. She's from Kirkland. What if I run into her again? 0_0

Allow me to explain. This week we had a lot fewer kids than last week--about 50--which is common since this was the week of the 4th of July. So I went into this week thinking, "Hey, this will be the light week that will help me recuperate from last week's insanity." Boy was I wrong, because this week, I had Katie P. in my cabin.

My first impression of her is that she's this charming nine year old who loves her dad, who definitely has a lot of energy, but seems to behave pretty well. And then her dad left and I was in charge. Apparently, summer camp is an excuse for children to forget that rules have ever existed, even though we tell them upfront, day one, what is expected of them.

A few things that she did during the week: scream (a lot), egg on the other girls' hyperactivity during Bible study, KBMO, evening devotions, and any other time that we were all required to be in the cabin, act like a horse (incessantly), slap, kick, spank people (staff included), fake crying to get attention, eat sunscreen, eat after sun lotion, lick the Purell off her hands at meals, lick her deodorant, make up inappropriate songs, and basically run around like a hooligan.

My favorite night was Tuesday because she was in the horsetrack program and they had an overnight out at the tepee camp. We actually got through devos that night with few interruptions and were in bed on time. Pretty sure that was the only night it happened.

And honestly, now that the week is over and I'm reviewing it, I wish that I had handled it better. I would like to justify how frequently I lost patience, how little I loved Katie--or any of the other girls in my cabin this week, and how often I lost my temper, but I really can't. I wish that I had relied on God more. I wish that I had prayed for patience, love, joy, and wisdom, but I don't remember praying much this week.

On the end of the week evaluation sheets, all of the girls--including Katie--marked me down as "10," or "Awesome!," and one girl gave me "100," but I don't feel like that was an accurate measure of how I did this week. Honestly, I'm feeling discouraged about this whole camp thing. I don't feel that I'm really making any headway with my campers. They don't hate me by the end of the week, but have I really impacted them? God only knows.

Other staff encouraged me this last week--we finally got mailboxes--and their notes helped a lot, but if I can't see any impact in my own girls, how can other people see it? (Ok, that's probably a dumb question.)

I would like to give a good report on camp, but I don't feel that I have much to say. I know that during a couple of the Bible studies, girls really got interested. I was able to answer some solid questions, and I know that at least one of the girls had a stronger realization of what Christ did for us on the cross. Also, Katie willingly tried to memorize one of the Bible verses and asked me one night if she could stay up late to read her Bible. So, ok, maybe it wasn't as bad a week as I thought it was. And really, if you think of it, please pray for her. She's interested, but I don't know how much she can grow at home.



Random highlights from the week:

~staff trail ride

~working in the trading post and making ice cream cones with Marzipan and eHarmony

~playing paintball (oddly enough, it got fun when I actually played :P )

~going swimming with Marzipan in the mornings

~going canoeing with Marzipan and Von Trapp in the fog this morning

~getting dressed up as Miss Hanigan from "Annie" for counselor dress up at last night's dinner. My girls dressed themselves up as orphans and sang "It's a Hard Knock Life" for the judges. We got 3rd place. :)

~our cabin's Shrek dinner dress up. We had three blind mice, Shrek, a Shrek baby, Princess Fiona, Sleeping Beauty, Puss in Boots, Donkey, and Dragon. Didn't win, but we should've. We looked darn good! :)

~my watch tan line. It's pretty hot.

"the week of mass hysteria," aka my first week as a camp counselor

...and I'm not even lying.

This week has been one of the single most stretching, challenging weeks of my life thus far, at least in respect to dealing with other people. For starters, I went from being a single person in charge of me to being a mother of nine within about an hour's time. (Gwen, I have an inkling for life in the Szobody household.)

I fell in love with my girls from the start. All nine are beautiful, gifted, tenderhearted girls who want so desperately to be loved and told that they are wonderful, but who typically don't receive this kind of attention. Unfortunately, this resulted in a lot of acting out in the form of hysterical crying fits, silent treatment, running away, attitude up the wazoo, slapping each other, bickering, and hella whining.

At this point, I would like to restate that I fell in love with my girls from the start. God, however, took over the first evening and loved them through me, because without His strength, patience, joy, and love, I would have died on the first full day of camp...and my kids would have gone out with me.

A little more about these kids that came for "sprint" week. In a past entry, I said that they were from a YMCA group. Correction: they were from various branches of Boys and Girls Clubs all over the south Sound area. Most are from lower income homes in not such great areas and are very tough kids. Moreover, we had 160+ kids at camp--pretty much our max capacity. We had to call in former counselors, brand new counselors, and counselors from our sister camp to help out with the overflow.

Chaos ruled day one of camp, but by bedtime, I was beginning to feel like I had somewhat of a grip on things again. Then Tuesday morning at about 5:30 am, I woke up feeling sort of sick to my stomach. And then the hurling commenced. No idea where it came from, but I threw up a lot that morning before my girls got up. We walked down to breakfast together because I thought I was feeling better, but I was rather mistaken and ended up leaving my cabin in various peoples' hands throughout the day as I slept. (Getting sick probably saved my sanity this week, so God really does work in mysterious ways. ;) )

Although there were bouts of tears pretty much every night--from at least one girl--I don't think I would ever want to trade this week for another one. I am glad that it's over, but I'm just as glad that it happened in the first place. Having the opportunity to see these girls slowly crack from their hardened shells and blossom was incredible.

Attentive during Bible study, but concurrently with the attention span of goldfish, they asked some very good questions. I'm not sure if I managed to get through to them at all, but I know that what God did through me and through the other staff may not be seen for awhile.

The staff blew my mind this week with how energetic and loving they were. I know that if I hadn't had my CIT, LIT, and wrangler helping me with my cabin, I probably wouldn't have made it through the week and, if I had, I would have quit this morning after my campers left. God has truly blessed me with incredible support for this journey that is Miracle Ranch.

I feel like this entry is very disjointed, but I am insanely tired and I'm just writing as thoughts come to me, so please forgive my poor composition.

Highlights from the week:

~all of my girls' smiles, their laughter, their affection, their eyes lighting up when they were having fun wherever they were--from horsemanship class to fireside.

~getting a surprise visit from Stiletto and Wannahokkaloogie while I was trying to recuperate in the nurse's station. They bore the gift of blue gatorade.

~Rising Sun (women's staff counselor) telling that I was doing a fantastic job when I felt like I had officially failed at being a camp counselor or even a believer

~realizing Wednesday night that I only had two more days with my girls (the terrors and angels of my life), which meant that I had only two more days to show them how much I loved them and how much God loved them. This led to a lot of tears throughout evening staff meeting, but it resulted in a renewed commitment to being 100% there for my girls. (Thanks, God, for the gentle reminder.)

~diaper swimming (don't ask)

~hearing various encouragements about how much my girls actually liked me. 1) One of the counselors who led the "showtime" activity told me that for their skit, the kids were portraying various counselors and about five of them wanted to be me. 2) When asked in horsemanship what they liked most about camp--other than horses, they responded with, "Being in a cabin with Hakuna Matata!" 3) This morning the campers filled out surveys to find out how their weeks went, and how we could improve in the future. My girls kept rating their counselor as "10."



My concern now is to avoid complacency. I don't want to think, "Hey, I survived the hardest week at camp, the rest will be a breeze!" I still want/need to rely on God just as much for strength, guidance, and wisdom. Although at this point, I want to make a shirt that reads, "I survived sprint week!" That, in and of itself, is a massive accomplishment. True, there were a lot of tears--and not all of them were shed by my girls--but I feel satisfied with the end result.

Now: to rest. More campers come tomorrow.

freedom to live

It is astounding how much can happen with a change of scene, including new faces, situations, and challenges. God is always good, and His faithfulness and security boggle the mind. At least they boggle MY mind...

Things I've learned at camp:

1. Quiet times are a must, and really, why would I want to skip out on time with the most incredible Person ever?

Oddly enough, that's really the only thing that comes to mind right now. Granted, I'm tired and not in much of a blogging mood, but I have a lot of other things weighing on my heart and mind besides basic blogging material. I wish I could tell a witty anecdote from this last week, but really, most of it you had to be there to enjoy it, and there's no way that I could ever begin to describe all of the people and situations that occur at camp, so I'm not even going to try.

Maybe one day I'll write a book about this summer and get it published. (I'll at least have fodder for Adv Expos with Julia this fall...)

One thing that happened this last week is that my CIT--counselor in training--came and we got to meet. Camp name: Mrs. Frisbee. Age: 14. Grade: between 9th and 10th. Do we mesh? Are our personalities going to clash? I sure hope we work together well--looks promising--because we're "stuck" together for the rest of the summer. She's in the same cabin as me, and I'm really hoping that I can be a good role model for her, but I also want to be able to learn from her as much as she learns from me. (I'm a big fan of iron sharpening iron. Plus, I don't have THAT many years of experience on her...)

I just thought of some regular blogging stuff that I can include. When Mrs. Frisbee came on Thursday, we talked a bit about how to decorate our cabin for the campers--they come tomorrow!--and in the midst of the discussion, another CIT named Afraidium came in and suggested an African theme since my camp name is Hakuna Matata. (Well duh, why didn't I think of that...?)

So today, Ms. Fris and I were going to go shopping together, but she ditched last minute to chillax with either her mom or Afraidium--not sure, since I was in the shower--but it all worked out fine because then I ended up shopping with Eli--aka Ogo Pogo--and found a bunch of stuff that I can use to decorate. Basically, the Dollar Tree saved my butt on this one. (Bonus: I can re-use a bunch of these decorations on my floor next year. No, this does not mean that my theme next year has anything to do with Africa.)

I have a feeling that my blogs are currently boring to most of my readers because, well, you probably can't relate to anything I'm saying. Or maybe I've been saying too much. But when I only have one chance a week to blog and so much can happen in those seven days, I have to cram it in as much as possible!

Anyhow, campers come tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to it, and I'm not nervous, which is odd. Let's face it, the last year or so--maybe more--I experienced a lot of anxiety. Panic attacks were not unusual, and that sickening feeling of butterflies in my stomach was rather common. Since going to MR, I've experienced nervousness once, and that was fleetingly. The only other times anxiety surfaced was just now when I was thinking about it and letting my mind dwell on it, and a week ago when spontaneously, life fell to pieces for half a day. But as I said at the beginning of this blog, God is faithful. And He does indeed answer prayers.

So, I'm not sure if I'm not nervous because I'm overconfident about camp being a success, or if I have my confidence in the right place--for once. I am expecting God to do amazing things at camp this summer--both in the lives of the campers and in the lives of the counselors and staff. It's weird how I'm not anticipating horrible things that might come along and screw things up. And it's also weird that I'm not afraid of the hard times that are going to come. I know that I don't learn except through difficult circumstances, and I know that this summer is going to stretch me, but I'm not afraid. In fact, I am so excited for this opportunity to grow and to reach the girls that will be in my cabin. I feel like the hell that God has walked me through since high school grad--when my walk with Him really got rolling--have all been preparation for this summer and for next year. I am finally in a place of leadership where I will have direct impact on people. Scary, but thrilling. I know that God is leading me, and I just want to be used of Him--to be His "pencil" as Mother Theresa put it. Wow...what an honor!

Some not so positive news, but important all the same. The last email from my mom mentioned some sad news about several families in Chad. One of the deacons in the Amtoukougne church in N'Djamena recently lost his sister. One of the young men at the youth center in Moundou also lost a relative. And, one of the young men at the church in NDJ died last week of malaria.

Meskine left a wife and children when he died, so please pray for them as they deal with this loss. Furthermore, his children will now be taken care of by his family and his wife is more or less on her own. In Chad, children belong to the father's family, which is a bittersweet factor as Meskine's wife would be unable to provide for her children on her own. At the same time, she just lost her husband, and now her children are basically being taken away from her. This is a hard time for all involved, so if you would remember them in your prayers, please do.

One more thing: I have a feeling I'm going to be coming back to NU all westernized (in a wild, wild west/old west kind of way) this fall.

say what?

Two things to cover in this blog, so I'll start with the less serious of the two.

To begin with, there is one more unwanted crush going on this summer. (Oh the drama.) Fortunately, like all crushes, it is harmless and will not go anywhere. Unless, of course, this guy turns into some freaky stalker type and refuses to let me be all summer. (Oh yeah, and he's working at camp. 0_0 )

But I'm not too worried, because he recently graduated from South [Kitsap High] and, well, they're not too bright. That probably means he's not catching on to my not quite so subtle hints that I'm not interested in being crush material, but it also probably means that he doesn't have it in him to concoct an elaborate stalking scheme.



Second bit of news: I was reading in Numbers this morning before my shower, and I noticed a most interesting passage. I present it to you, dear readers, to take from it what you will, and then I shall expound on how I perceived this passage:

"So Moses went out and reported the Lord's words to the people. He gathered the seventy elders and stationed them around the Tabernacle. And the Lord came down in the cloud and spoke to Moses. Then he gave the seventy elders the same Spirit that was upon Moses. And when the Spirit rested upon them, they prophesied. But this never happened again.

"Two men, Eldad and Medad, had stayed behind in the camp. They were listed among the elders, but they had not gone out to the Tabernacle. Yet the Spirit rested upon them as well, so they prophesied there in the camp. A young man ran and reported to Moses, 'Eldad and Medad are prophesying in the camp!'

"Joshua son of Nun, who had been Moses' assistant since his youth, protested, 'Moses, my master, make them stop!'

"But Moses replied, 'Are you jealous for my sake? I wish that all the Lord's people were prophets and that the Lord would put his Spirit upon them all!' Then Moses returned to the camp with the elders of Israel."

Numbers 11: 24-30 (NLT)



So, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't this appear to be baptism in the Holy Spirit? Of course, it's not quite like its occurrence in Acts, but then again, God doesn't act in the same ways all the time. This made me think about the New Testament where Paul is saying he wishes all people could experience this.

Interesting to me, any thoughts?