Amsterdam, May 6, 2008, [time...?]

I just spent an unholy amount of money on a disappointingly small amount of food in Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport--the Euro equivalent to $14 on a small quiche lorraine and an iced tea drink made with sparkling water, a detail I unfortunately overlooked until after the first swallow. *gags* Still, it's probably my last taste of western food for the next two weeks, so I try to enjoy it. The quiche redeemed the "meal" even if it wasn't very filling. That's ok--they'll probably feed us twelve more times on the next 9-hour leg of our journey.

To be honest, I'm trying to be thrilled about this trip to India. When I first applied and was accepted, I was jumping for joy. FINALLY, an opportunity to physically make a difference in the fight to stop human trafficking. But that was five and a half months ago before my final semester of college, before a play production with a taxing practice schedule, before pages and pages of papers and projects and finals and oh-my-gosh-my-family-is-coming-for-graduation-so-I-need-to-find-them-housing-and-I'm-graduating! Almost needless to say, but I was so overwhelmed before heading off to India that I confessed to my sister, "Y'know, I really don't want to go on this trip now."

So here in Amsterdam, eating with the team leader (aka Shoshana), I feign excitement. Maybe forcing a positive attitude will change my attitude for real. If not, I'll fake it for the entire trip. There's no need to drag down the rest of the team when I'm just not feeling it. Not really knowing the other members of the team, I'm already out of my comfort zone, and I haven't even arrived in Mumbai yet. How very promising... All that aside, I also feel like I way overpacked which, for an mk accustomed to global travel, is a BIG deal. (At least my baggage weight tied with another team member's.)

As usual, international travel leaves me feeling very gross. I REALLY want a shower and/or a change of clothes. I'm tired and insecure, and I don't want to hop on the next flight to Mumbai. I really want to go the opposite direction, but I bite my tongue, put on a smile, and stick it out. After all, if there's anything that I've learned about missions, it's that you just have to grin and bear it. God knows what He's doing, and even if I don't like it, I should still follow along.

Badlapur, May 18, 2008, at 7am

About to take my final bucket bath in India, I stand in the hot and humid "hotel" bathroom--a 3'x5' tiled room--and look at myself in the mirror. I feel very Hindi except for my height, and I am not ready to leave this place yet even though I said my goodbyes yesterday.

As I look at my face, I reach up and touch my hair, soft and silky from being massaged with coconut oil the day before--a weekly event at Ashagram (Hindi for "Village of Hope"), where I worked throughout our stay in India. My Hindi friends offered to oil my hair the last day because they were already oiling theirs--a replacement for shampoo and conditioner and a much hidden beauty secret that explains why all Indian women have gorgeous hair. Mine looks pretty darn good, and I've only had it done once.

Friday, the girls were "threading" their eyebrows and offered to do the same to the girls on our team. Of course, we all jumped at the unique opportunity and now have shapely brows of our own, thanks to Shabana--the girl with the most attitude and cheek ever with a hilarious sense of humor. Having my eyebrows reshaped makes my eyes bigger--brown eyes that earned me the compliment "You have beautiful eyes--Indian eyes" from one of the men at Bombay Teen Challenge.

I fiddle with my nose ring--another feature that brought me attention and made me look more Hindi--before admiring my recent mehendi. Mehendi, or henna designs, is a traditional form of female adornment throughout the Middle East and parts of Asia. In India, women put mehendi on hands and feet for special occasions or for any occasion when they have the time. As May is the hottest month of the year in India, the girls at Ashagram have summer vacation and all the time in the world for henna.

Reflecting back on the trip, I wonder at God's work in India. India is a tough case, but clearly not too tough for God or for His faithful followers. Meeting with our brothers and sisters at Bombay Teen Challenge proved that. I have learned a lot about faith and endurance, joy and hope, and I know that I have much yet to learn.

I have many more stories to come, but I need to continue processing. In the meantime, I need to go shopping for a pattern so I can sew the choli and petticoat to go with my sari that I bought in Badlapur.

first day of post-college graduation, last day in US

It still hasn't hit me that I am done with college. I feel like commencement was a performance because it was too surreal. The people I walked with are classmates that I have known for the past few years--some are best friends; others, simply a familiar name and face. Whatever our relationship proximity, we lived in a community together, and now that community is split. That's ok. It's life, and I'm used to it. Well, okay, I'm not really used to it, but I accept it as a [sucky] part of life.

Today was filled with several trips to stores to make sure that I was adequately prepared for the trip to India tomorrow. (By now, it's technically later today...) I had to buy a pair of closed toed shoes, some plain shirts, various toiletry items, and some more memory cards for my digital camera. I have a bad feeling that I spent WAY too much money, but since my bag only came to a total of about 30 pounds (as opposed to the 50 pound allowance), I think I'm doing pretty well.

I've also been packing in the midst of trying to go to church this morning--that was a flop of an attempt--and going to work this afternoon/evening. I ended up missing the end of the year RA shindig b/c of work, which was disappointing, but it was also good to go to work and have the opportunity to really say goodbye to my coworkers. I'm going to miss them...

Everyone was congratulating me for graduating with huge smiles and eyes beaming pride. Funny how a group of immigrant workers can be seemingly more proud of me than some of my family/friends. I guess they still value the product of a college education. ;) (This is not to say that I think that my family/friends weren't excited for my graduation, but it's something else when people you see at most 12 hours a week are so profoundly ecstatic for your achievements.) I ended up with several graduation gifts, lots of hugs and handshakes, and some great food--more than enough for me with leftovers to share with my sister who packed up my room in my absence.

I also had a Mexican waiter in the hotel restaurant "plead" with me not to leave the hotel so that I could "stay right by [him]." I asked one of my coworkers if she thought he was being serious, and she said in her filipina accent, "No...he's a playboy." Ha! :)

Anyway, tomorrow I head to India. Won't be back until May 19. If you want to receive any email updates from the trip, email me at quesse.lome@gmail.com. If I ever have access to email, I'll do my best to add you to the list of recipients. In the meantime, ciao!