freedom to live

It is astounding how much can happen with a change of scene, including new faces, situations, and challenges. God is always good, and His faithfulness and security boggle the mind. At least they boggle MY mind...

Things I've learned at camp:

1. Quiet times are a must, and really, why would I want to skip out on time with the most incredible Person ever?

Oddly enough, that's really the only thing that comes to mind right now. Granted, I'm tired and not in much of a blogging mood, but I have a lot of other things weighing on my heart and mind besides basic blogging material. I wish I could tell a witty anecdote from this last week, but really, most of it you had to be there to enjoy it, and there's no way that I could ever begin to describe all of the people and situations that occur at camp, so I'm not even going to try.

Maybe one day I'll write a book about this summer and get it published. (I'll at least have fodder for Adv Expos with Julia this fall...)

One thing that happened this last week is that my CIT--counselor in training--came and we got to meet. Camp name: Mrs. Frisbee. Age: 14. Grade: between 9th and 10th. Do we mesh? Are our personalities going to clash? I sure hope we work together well--looks promising--because we're "stuck" together for the rest of the summer. She's in the same cabin as me, and I'm really hoping that I can be a good role model for her, but I also want to be able to learn from her as much as she learns from me. (I'm a big fan of iron sharpening iron. Plus, I don't have THAT many years of experience on her...)

I just thought of some regular blogging stuff that I can include. When Mrs. Frisbee came on Thursday, we talked a bit about how to decorate our cabin for the campers--they come tomorrow!--and in the midst of the discussion, another CIT named Afraidium came in and suggested an African theme since my camp name is Hakuna Matata. (Well duh, why didn't I think of that...?)

So today, Ms. Fris and I were going to go shopping together, but she ditched last minute to chillax with either her mom or Afraidium--not sure, since I was in the shower--but it all worked out fine because then I ended up shopping with Eli--aka Ogo Pogo--and found a bunch of stuff that I can use to decorate. Basically, the Dollar Tree saved my butt on this one. (Bonus: I can re-use a bunch of these decorations on my floor next year. No, this does not mean that my theme next year has anything to do with Africa.)

I have a feeling that my blogs are currently boring to most of my readers because, well, you probably can't relate to anything I'm saying. Or maybe I've been saying too much. But when I only have one chance a week to blog and so much can happen in those seven days, I have to cram it in as much as possible!

Anyhow, campers come tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to it, and I'm not nervous, which is odd. Let's face it, the last year or so--maybe more--I experienced a lot of anxiety. Panic attacks were not unusual, and that sickening feeling of butterflies in my stomach was rather common. Since going to MR, I've experienced nervousness once, and that was fleetingly. The only other times anxiety surfaced was just now when I was thinking about it and letting my mind dwell on it, and a week ago when spontaneously, life fell to pieces for half a day. But as I said at the beginning of this blog, God is faithful. And He does indeed answer prayers.

So, I'm not sure if I'm not nervous because I'm overconfident about camp being a success, or if I have my confidence in the right place--for once. I am expecting God to do amazing things at camp this summer--both in the lives of the campers and in the lives of the counselors and staff. It's weird how I'm not anticipating horrible things that might come along and screw things up. And it's also weird that I'm not afraid of the hard times that are going to come. I know that I don't learn except through difficult circumstances, and I know that this summer is going to stretch me, but I'm not afraid. In fact, I am so excited for this opportunity to grow and to reach the girls that will be in my cabin. I feel like the hell that God has walked me through since high school grad--when my walk with Him really got rolling--have all been preparation for this summer and for next year. I am finally in a place of leadership where I will have direct impact on people. Scary, but thrilling. I know that God is leading me, and I just want to be used of Him--to be His "pencil" as Mother Theresa put it. Wow...what an honor!

Some not so positive news, but important all the same. The last email from my mom mentioned some sad news about several families in Chad. One of the deacons in the Amtoukougne church in N'Djamena recently lost his sister. One of the young men at the youth center in Moundou also lost a relative. And, one of the young men at the church in NDJ died last week of malaria.

Meskine left a wife and children when he died, so please pray for them as they deal with this loss. Furthermore, his children will now be taken care of by his family and his wife is more or less on her own. In Chad, children belong to the father's family, which is a bittersweet factor as Meskine's wife would be unable to provide for her children on her own. At the same time, she just lost her husband, and now her children are basically being taken away from her. This is a hard time for all involved, so if you would remember them in your prayers, please do.

One more thing: I have a feeling I'm going to be coming back to NU all westernized (in a wild, wild west/old west kind of way) this fall.