Amsterdam, May 6, 2008, [time...?]

I just spent an unholy amount of money on a disappointingly small amount of food in Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport--the Euro equivalent to $14 on a small quiche lorraine and an iced tea drink made with sparkling water, a detail I unfortunately overlooked until after the first swallow. *gags* Still, it's probably my last taste of western food for the next two weeks, so I try to enjoy it. The quiche redeemed the "meal" even if it wasn't very filling. That's ok--they'll probably feed us twelve more times on the next 9-hour leg of our journey.

To be honest, I'm trying to be thrilled about this trip to India. When I first applied and was accepted, I was jumping for joy. FINALLY, an opportunity to physically make a difference in the fight to stop human trafficking. But that was five and a half months ago before my final semester of college, before a play production with a taxing practice schedule, before pages and pages of papers and projects and finals and oh-my-gosh-my-family-is-coming-for-graduation-so-I-need-to-find-them-housing-and-I'm-graduating! Almost needless to say, but I was so overwhelmed before heading off to India that I confessed to my sister, "Y'know, I really don't want to go on this trip now."

So here in Amsterdam, eating with the team leader (aka Shoshana), I feign excitement. Maybe forcing a positive attitude will change my attitude for real. If not, I'll fake it for the entire trip. There's no need to drag down the rest of the team when I'm just not feeling it. Not really knowing the other members of the team, I'm already out of my comfort zone, and I haven't even arrived in Mumbai yet. How very promising... All that aside, I also feel like I way overpacked which, for an mk accustomed to global travel, is a BIG deal. (At least my baggage weight tied with another team member's.)

As usual, international travel leaves me feeling very gross. I REALLY want a shower and/or a change of clothes. I'm tired and insecure, and I don't want to hop on the next flight to Mumbai. I really want to go the opposite direction, but I bite my tongue, put on a smile, and stick it out. After all, if there's anything that I've learned about missions, it's that you just have to grin and bear it. God knows what He's doing, and even if I don't like it, I should still follow along.