fear

[More info on Sarah Kelly. (Because I couldn't not look into her more...) ]

I'm currently listening to the song "Out of Reach" by Sarah Kelly. Okay, I admit, I'm practically an addict right now for her music. This album is so good! I think I like it because it's genuine, and that's a relief in this world, especially in relation to the material discussed. So many topics are taboo--and they are usually the ones that need to be brought into the light more.

So all of this...boils down to the topic I originally wanted to blog about. Said topic is that of my counseling appointment Thursday morning. It's my second time to see this one counselor, and I'm halfway dreading it. I think she's amazing, and I am blessed to have found her, but I'm still scared. I think I'm scared because I know that sessions aren't going to be wishy washy. It's going to be good, but it doesn't make it something I'm looking forward to.

The thing about the concert last night, this album--it's all given me a renewed interest in pursuing counseling. I'm beginning to feel like there can be an end. I don't see it yet, but I'm starting to believe that it exists.

At the same time, I'm still intimidated. Now that I've addressed it and pursued closure/healing/what have you as much as I have, and I'm neck deep in all of this, I can't pretend like it didn't happen anymore. I can't go back. I have to go forward--otherwise, I'll drown in the mire. I'm not as terrified of progress as I used to be, but it's only just held at bay.

So if you are reading this, please pray for me as well as those who are going through the same experiences.