homeworking

Point one: I don't want to eat again. Ever. I ate "dinner" around midnight--the time I got back from Safeway after sequestering myself away in the library all night. That dinner is still a bad taste in my mouth in spite of brushing my teeth and tongue for about ten minutes. Also, as my stomach is still revolting against food, even the idea of consumption makes me feel queasy right now. I should've stuck with not eating dinner at all. I wasn't THAT hungry after all.

Point two: for some reason my mind starts functioning better after a certain hour. That hour is typically NOT during daylight or early evening. Or evening at all. I am truly a nightowl, or even an early bird. Granted, I'm an early bird that never goes to sleep... (But not all the time. Occasionally I'm just weird and get up at the crack of dawn to watch the sun rise.)

Point three: Skillet's newest album Comatose is the bomb diggity. (And I don't throw that term around lightly.) I've never listened to extensive Skillet, just a few songs here and there over the years, but this album is just thrilling. It contains the full spectrum of human emotion--at least all the emotions I've undergone in the past few weeks. It's real and raw. It's human--that's the best way to explain it.

Point four (connected to three): two of these songs in particular addressed situations I was in at the time I first started listening--about two weeks or so ago. Hence, this next point. Or rather, this point. But this is secondary to THE POINT. And the point of this point has to do with cutting. When I was cutting myself, I was thinking that I didn't have the "guts" to make deeper marks, etc. And that's true, to a certain extent. The thing is, it takes a lot more courage for me to resist the urge to cut than to give in. It takes a lot more strength to go on than to give up.