God's working!

At the end of spring semester, I kept saying to people that I was looking forward to summer because I had a sense that God was going to do great things. And then summer came and nada. I'm not blaming God, because His timing is perfect, and honestly, I was neither ready nor willing to let God work in my life.

This past week I've been turning to all of my horizontal relationships--meaning to people--with all of my problems--especially to one person--and it was a horrible week. I know that when I do that, when I try to rely on people or myself instead of on God, that things go horribly wrong. My strength is never strong enough, my will is never determined enough, my wisdom is never wise enough--and no other human's is. Humanity, as a whole, is never "enough." Simply, we can't do it on our own. We need that supernatural connection. We need God. This is such a basic truth, and like all basic truths, it is the one that is most easily forgotten or brushed aside. I am guilty of having forgotten this, and I've damaged enough people in the past week.

Fortunately, I serve a good God who is faithful and loves me and keeps me on track--when I sit back and realize that I ought to. Today I started reading a book by Brother Andrew called "God's Smuggler." It's an autobiographical book chronicling a Dutch believer's missionary work behind the Iron Curtain. It's been inspiring, to say the least. It's been encouraging, and I'm grateful for having listened to whatever it was that pushed me to bring it home with me this weekend. (Hm, can we say, "GOD"?) With everything that I've experienced in the past 36 hours--renewed faith, getting back towards the place where God wants me to be, apologizing for my actions throughout the week--this book's content is just what I needed to read today.

It's been challenging, but so good. It's made me think a lot. But it's also making me smile. It's a reminder of the good stuff that missions holds--the future and the present that God has prepared for me. And it's a real, down to earth perspective. For awhile now, even though I've grown up on the field and should know better, I've been holding on to these glossy, overglorified dreams of what being a missionary will be like. It's good to remember the everyday is still very much there, and that doesn't mean that God is working any less.

Anyhow, I've run off to type this out while it's on my mind...but we're having a little birthday shindig for the sibs right now--their b-days are about five days apart--so I need to be getting back to it. :)