Sundays are made for reflection

I've moved locations several times today. After eating, I headed back down to the lounge on the ground floor to enjoy the coolness. I ended up napping for awhile and feel somewhat rejuvenated. I'm more alert now, and things seem so much better after a nap. Not that life was a mess before it, but now I'm feeling better. :)

Anyhow, I woke up around the time someone came down to cook in the kitchenette. Started listening to music and kept reading "Wild at Heart." Then the texting started up again. Woohoo! I can still be connected to people even when I'm not on my computer. And the world can continue to turn. Well, after a little bit, it started getting hotter in the lounge b/c of the cooking. So I decided to head off to find a new place of respite.

I headed upstairs to Perks lounge, but there were people there, and it was too warm. Not in the mood for either and preferring to be not in direct contact with people at the moment, I continued on outside. It was much cooler outside, but there is always the problem of sprinklers spontaneously bursting on around me and drenching me, my book, my cell phone, and my mp3 player. I'd dry out, but the last three would be more problematic. So I headed to the Aerie.

Perfect! It's a little warm in here, but I opened the mini-windows, propped open some doors, and it's actually quite good in here. Plus, there are internet kiosks so I can get online and write about my adventures with heat-coping. Also, I can listen to Michael Buble on the stereo in here. That style of music, the whole rat pack era, the lounge lizard, nightclub dandy music is so enjoyable. The smooth vocals, endearing lyrics. Sweep me off my feet, Mikey baby! Seriously, having a guy sing something like this--be still my beating heart! Whoo! Is it getting hotter in here...? Nah, must be my imagination. ;)

Anyhow, I read Captivating this summer and thought it was phenomenal. It's such a blessing to read something that speaks so directly to me. It illuminated the desires of my heart that I couldn't put into words. When I read the book, I made sense. Wow. God definitely inspired those authors! I'm finding the same to be true of Wild at Heart. Yes, it's written more for men, but I like reading it because I can understand men better. Also, I hope to be able to treat them more according to who they truly are. I want to be able to help my brothers in Christ become the men that they are intended to be.

Another thing about this is that it helps complete the picture of humanity just as together, man and woman complete the picture of God. So powerful! :) The saddest thing about how American society has emasculated men is that we--as women--blame THEM for this problem. We claim that there aren't anymore men in the world. ("Where have all the heroes gone?") But we've cut them down--the men that we truly want and desire to make a life with. It's ashaming and appalling. A true tragedy. Just as women have been beaten down and abused and wounded, so have men! They're hurting too, and they aren't willing to put their hearts out to be hurt again since they've been repressed all their lives. Something has gone WAY wrong here.


[Unrelated topic:]
I think everyone should have seen me today. I am beautiful. Okay, that's pretty vain, and yes, I think this song is about me. But seriously, I feel gorgeous. But not just physically pretty, in a shallow, skin deep sort of way. I feel beautiful today because I can rest in right relationships. I feel content and confident. (Sundays are made for making relationship right, whether it's with God, people, or both. In my case, it's been both.) I didn't start out the day beautiful, even though I look no different now than I did when I headed out the door to church. On the other hand, I was restless, angry, frustrated, and hurt. I didn't want to deal with my emotions and stuffed them--my age old habit of just ignoring the bad and putting on a good face.

I came into church late and managed to get in without really talking to people. I was still inwardly nursing my "pain" and glad to avoid the personal contact. (People can read me, right?) Anyhow, once we got into the sermon, I felt peace for the first time all morning. It was a good word, a convicting word, and I managed to take some of it with me. I also managed to sneak out without talking to too many other people. Yes, sometimes going to a smaller church hinders my desire for anonymity. I think that's a good thing.

I got back to my room and started talking with my boyfriend almost immediately online. Things finally got out in the open. We'd "dealt" with this one issue all of last week and part of the weekend, but it was only worked with enough on both parts to scab things over for awhile. I think, and hope and pray, that it's finally been worked out. I'm tired of dealing with this one issue, and I'm sure Tyler is as well. (Thank you, God, for letting it be over! Please let it stay that way!) I am so blessed to be in a relationship with him. His patience in putting up with my emotional baggage and other drawbacks speaks volumes to me. It's been really hard to handle this relationship long-distance. It will be so good--in so many ways--to see him on Tuesday. However, I'm so very thankful that we've had this summer to be able to work with a long-distance relationship. It's training for when he takes his semester abroad. *deep breath* God alone will be able to help us get through that. Oh goodness, that's way in the future...ne need to stress about it now. :P

And wow, this blog is the blog that just keeps on going. (It's like the gift that keeps on giving.) But it's going to go now and be gone. ;)