no time for this

I had an epiphany last night. Several thoughts/recollections/scenarios led up to it, but the point that illuminated above my head was that I don't have time for this ridiculous popularity competition that is continuously being played in life around me.

I think it's downright asinine how common a trend it is at my school to conform to the same outward standards. One must dress in the Abercrombie/Forever 21/Gap/Nordstrom's/Hollister/[insert any trendy store name here] style in order to be socially acceptable. One must maintain a preppy dress code at all times. For a girl, one must spend three hours getting ready in the morning...for an 8 o'clock class. One may not be caught wearing the same clothes two weeks in a row. God forbid that one's wardrobe is not large enough to accomodate a different outfit every day of the month.

Okay, for me, I find this lifestyle incredibly impractical. I have neither the time nor the finances to live like that. $100 for a pair of jeans? $60 for a blouse? $15 for a compact of eye shadow? I honestly don't care to waste my money on such trivial things. (And yes, I recognize that I spend $5 for COFFEE. *slaps forehead*) And as for the time issue, I'd so much rather SLEEP than waste time on making my outside look good. If I don't sleep, my insides are going to be nonfunctional, so what's the point?

I feel very indignant that there is pressure to conform to this socially acceptable "norm" at NU. I didn't realize that coming to a private Christian university would be so much like becoming a clone. I've somewhat conformed, and it bothers me. I am uniquely made, why do I feel like I need to be like everyone else? There are students on campus who, as my manager puts it, "march to the beat of a different drum," and I absolutely love that about them. They dress the way they want to, act the way they want to, and they don't care about the standards preset by the large majority of the student body. Kudos to individuality!

Let me add that I don't look at those students who have seemingly conformed and think in disgust, "Ugh. Clones." I don't think that these students are bad people. I don't think that they're brainless or shallow. (Well, some of them are shallow, but not most.) Y'know, if you can afford the time and money to primp yourself up every day--several times a day--go for it. I commend you for your time management skills.

I still don't see the point in expending that much energy into an outward appearance that is not exactly useful to God. And here's where my thoughts got deeper. I recognize that, as my grandma Ella put it, beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes straight to the bone. No matter how much I put into how I look outwardly, to God, it's not what is important. He sees my beauty and admires it--He created me, after all--but what is more important is my heart. I need to spend MUCH more time working on my inward beauty--a kind and gentle spirit for starters--before I can be much use to God.

This does not mean that God cannot use me as I am. He is GOD, after all, and He can use everything and everyone as He pleases to do so. It is really in my best interest to work on lasting beauty instead of striving after the meaningless physical qualities that will fade in time. My "girlish" figure? Once that first kid hits, it'll disappear. The unwrinkled skin? It'll only take a few more years before I start pruning up. But what will last is my character--good or bad. I think it's time for a radical makeover.