How to make the world a more liveable place

I was talking with Maggie this evening in her room, completely discombobulated by the state of my mind which is highly restless and agitated, when it struck me that there is a very simple solution to the complexity of life:

Get rid of men.

And it's so easy. Really, all we have to do is throw some Hungry Man frozen dinners for bait on an empty tanker, then ship them (that would be "men") to Antarctica where they will explore their manliness by hunting penguins and seals. Really, it's a win-win situation. Women get the rest of the world, men get to hunt.

All of this followed my original thought of taking up residence in a convent--an idea which has crossed my mind on multiple occasions. Really, what could be better than spending your life simply, in study or in the garden, communing with God and with other brilliant women? (Oh yes, women in convents must be brilliant otherwise they would be incapable of remaining there and would crave the company of lesser creatures...like men.)

The thing is, guys mess with you. They come along, and they don't mean to do anything, but they cross your path and then BLAM! out of nowhere you're thrown into a seething maelstrom of insanity which you cannot escape but which you also NEVER ASKED FOR IN THE BLOODY FIRST PLACE!

And can you just be friends with these odd creatures? Hardly. Guys enjoy flirting, or more likely teasing, and it's all fun and games until girls start second guessing the friendship and get paranoid. Does he like me? Do I like him? BLAM!!! Maelstrom time again.

Seriously, if you are male and you are reading this, kindly rethink your life. And if you don't hunt on a semi-regular basis, you should probably look into it. I'm starting to set my traps...