funny quotes

[After saying I'd rather stay in my dorm so that I wouldn't have to lug my computer, calling it "a beast"]
"And you're the beauty!"

[Response to me pouting after someone reminding me that I wasn't writing inspired Scripture]
"The Canon is closed, Bethany."

[Addition to story about Christians trying to "one up" each other]
"Christianity is not a competitive sport, ladies and gentlemen."

[Talking about Grecian athletes]
"The Greeks were down with naked."