WTF

I was thinking back on my past--high school and up--and realized that I've known a lot of bastard guys. (Excuse the profanity, but it's the only word that aptly describes the caliber of boys I've been unfortunate enough to know.) Honestly, I don't know what drew them to me or me to them. Maybe it was my naive "I trust everybody no matter what" mentality that sucked them towards me. Or maybe it was that they paid attention to me that attracted me to them. (BLECK) The fact is, I wish that I could look back on the past and not see their ugly mugs. Too bad they're still there. Fortunately, most of them have faded away w/ the passing of time or serious global moving. Hallelu.

In other news, I'm having the hardest time not exploding into expletives these days. I'm good, then something happens and I feel like the only way to accurately verbalize my emotions is to swear. I'm not usually like this. I can recall in my mind two times that I have vocally uttered expletives. (Usually, I just think them.) But the past few days, they've been right on the tip of my tongue and I've had to do some serious swallowing to keep them in.

The other thing about the BB (bastard boys) is that they've managed to fully corrupt my view of guys. Guys are fine as friends, mere acquaintances, but I have a very hard time letting them in to even a close friendship realm. From experience, guys lie. They say all these nice things, but do something entirely different. They break their word. They manipulate you. They use you for their own purposes, then, when it's convenient for them, they forget about you. They use and abuse and then move on.

I think the biggest thing that frustrates me about BB's is that when it's inconvenient to have "that girl" around, they seem to be able to break off everything without batting an eye. Like "Oh it's not a big deal that I totally broke her heart and twisted her opinions of every guy she's going to know from now on. I couldn't care less about her. She's just an object to be used and discarded when I feel like it. And I feel like it."

No wonder there is enmity between the sexes.

Granted, I'm saying this from a girl's perspective, and I'm sure guys would say the same about us. But seriously, what are we doing to each other and why can't we just stop?